There will be more good days. Today was a good day.
This is my mantra. I keep repeating it over and over. I feel like I'm lying to myself, but it is a true statement. I wish I could get behind it with my heart.
But fear and fatigue are what keep my heart in a weary place. Dad's appointment was great, despite the scare. Ada's appointment was great, and the first step to treating her chronic lung issues. Despite the ongoing battle. Everything today had a positive outcome. But I'm still so tired. And I catch myself feeling sorry for myself that all of the good things anymore have to be preceded by struggle. But I don't want to feel that way, because, as I keep reminding myself, at least I'm still having GOOD. No matter what it takes to get there. I would struggle for the rest of my life to just know there would be good at the end. So why can't I stop feeling so dark? I still have good in me and around me.
There will be more good days, and today was a good day.
