Monday, March 9, 2015

Good Days

There will be more good days.  Today was a good day.

This is my mantra. I keep repeating it over and over.  I feel like I'm lying to myself, but it is a true statement.  I wish I could get behind it with my heart.

But fear and fatigue are what keep my heart in a weary place.  Dad's appointment was great, despite the scare.  Ada's appointment was great, and the first step to treating her chronic lung issues.  Despite the ongoing battle.  Everything today had a positive outcome.  But I'm still so tired. And I catch myself feeling sorry for myself that all of the good things anymore have to be preceded by struggle. But I  don't want to feel that way, because, as I keep reminding myself, at least I'm still having GOOD. No matter what it takes to get there.  I would struggle for the rest of my life to just know there would be good at the end. So why can't I stop feeling so dark? I still have good in me and around me.

There will be more good days, and today was a good day.

No comments:

Post a Comment